Free Pants: Stand-Up: Why Women will destory the world

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Stand-Up: Why Women will destory the world

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Upcoming Stand-up Shows

May 26 (Gotham in NYC) - Honored veterans with hilarious jokes about overweight teens
May 27 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
Good: eased racial tensions by deftly poking fun at Obama; Bad: did it dressed in blackface
June 10 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) - Proposed to you on stage. Would have been better if you showed up.
June 14 (Dick's Beantown Club -- Vault, Boylston) - When the mic cut out, I hugged audience members for an uncomfortable amount of time.
June 20 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) - Birbiglia stole 2 minutes from my set. Still crushed with the one joke I told.
June 25 (Funny Bone -- Hartford, CT) -
June 26 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -

July 17 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
July 24 (The Gas, Great Scott's) -
July 25 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
Aug 2 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
Aug 12 (Burren, Davis Square) -

Aug 13 (Dress-Up Show, Mottley's, Faneuil Hall) -

Aug 19 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
Sep 23 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
Oct 8 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
Oct 22 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -

Oct 23 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
Nov 7 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -
Nov 22 (Comedy Studio, Harvard Square) -

Douche of the Week

7-06-07

1st Place - Edgar R. Norris

1945. It was an otherwise normal Tuesday afternoon for Edgar and his classmates at Montclair St. College when the professor asked the full lecture hall if anyone had questions before the big exam. That's when Edgar made history by raising his hand and asking the professor if he could use a "cheat sheet" during the test. The professor agreed, thus leaving every student who didn't also spend 30 hours compiling a list of usesless facts that would have no bearing on the test at a disadvantage.

For making everyone work harder to achieve the same grade, you, Edgar, are the Douche of the Week.

2nd Place - Hitler burns down Reichstag. (1933)
___________________________
6-29-07

1st Place - Ron L. Simmons

Ron is the marketing executive who created the Huggies commercials in which babies perform routine adult tasks such as answer calls from giant, foam telephones at the "office," play "baseball" on a pool table, and perform several of Shakespeare's plays... all in a diaper.

Ron had this to say: "I was at home playing with my baby son, when a copy of Merchant of Venice fell off the bookshelf and onto his head. At first I thought he was probably dead, but when he wasn't, I immediately called the office and said, 'Gather everyone together.' Later, when my son regained consciousness, he was pretty excited about the idea, too."

Upcoming commercials:

1) Babies are tried as adults for gang rape.

2) Bank forecloses on babies' house after lay-offs force them to default on their mortgage.

3) Babies lose the big account at work and blow their savings trying to impress the cute waitress at Hooters.

Thank you, Ron. You are the Douche of the Week.

2nd Place - Ferdinand II of Aragon issues the Alhambra Decree which directly leads to the Spanish Inquisition. (1492)

Free Pants

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Stand-Up: Why Women will destory the world

0 comments:

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